Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy
This is by far one of the most depressing songs that I have ever listened to and I'm sure that many people can agree with that. Why? Because every single one of us that has been in love wonders 'what if'. What if I stayed with him? What if I moved back home to be with him?
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my first love. I always felt like it was some weird obsession, but I have come to realize that there are many people that go through it. How can I not think about someone that I spent more than half of my life with... the half of which was my entire teenage years. I will never forget him. Of course, I will never forget what he did to me either. I will never forget the mistakes that I made with him and the regrets and bundles of guilt that I have due to those mistakes.
I have come to realize that most of the time things don't exactly work out the way that they were planned to work out, but that doesn't mean that life has a bunch of failure in store for your future. Instead, it means that you are supposed to learn from previous mistakes that were made.
My past relationship did not have loyalty, trust, or honesty. I always thought that was the kind of thing that could develop over time. I have come to learn that it's not like that at all though. It's like when you walk into a classroom for the first day and the teacher tells you that you have an 'A' (a 100% so far), but that can change easily with the level of commitment that you put forth. Really, it's the same with relationships. If you start out honest. If you start out loyal. If you start out trustworthy than that person has no reason to doubt you or lie to you unless if you make a mistake. It's not really the sort of thing that can develop overtime. Although, I must admit that it took me a few months with my current boyfriend to have trust in anyone, but that's simply because I was still so broken from the past.
There are naive parts of me that I will never get back. There are pieces of my heart that will always remain broken.
To the singles: Make sure that you find yourself before you try to find others.
