Now, I do not condone lying, because quite honestly, things seem to work out better if you were to just admit the truth. However, I have come to realize that there are certain times when lying is almost necessary. If there is one thing that I have learned from my ex, it is how to lie... He has me beat, but I picked up a few tips along the way.
1.) Come up with something that you, yourself would believe and go out of your way to make sure that it cannot be proven as a lie.
For example: When I was in high school one time, I wanted to skip class to hang out with my boyfriend at the time. At lunch, I stole a ketchup pack, went to the bathroom, and applied it to my genital region (on the pants). Oh no, Miss Office Lady, I started my period. Wam Bam, there you go. No one is going to argue with that. Although, if you are a man, I don't suggest this one... Instead, tell them you have explosive diarrhea or something.
2.) Convince yourself that the lie is the truth. I have come to realize that it is not incredibly difficult to do this. All you have to do is recite it over and over and over until you can't even remember the full true story. This way, you can also have your story straight just in case if anyone questions it.
3.) Put on your acting skills. All of us were equipped with them, all of us have the capability to use them effectively. The time that this is super appropriate is at gift giving time, when you get that super lame gift that you can't even understand why someone would get it for you.
For example: My grandmother never gives amazing gifts, as much as she tries it just doesn't happen, bless her heart. One year I got this sweatshirt with an 'A' on the front. An 'A', that doesn't even make any sort of sense. It was hideous aside from not making sense, BUT, she is my grandmother and I love her to death so I used my acting skills. By the end of the day, you would have thought that she gave me the best gift that I have ever gotten in my whole life.
4.) Never switch up your story. This goes along with the first two. No matter how ridiculous the whole story may be, no one can convict you otherwise, unless if they have proof. Therefore, stick to your original story as much as possible.
5.) Lastly, if you get caught, admit the truth. It is not only more noble to admit that you fucked up, but if you are trapped in a corner, give yourself the freedom, no matter how painful it may be. Afterall, we are human, we are imperfect, and we are all bound to make mistakes.
