Irresolution

There are some times that I simply don't know what to say.  It is now 9:16 in the morning, and I want so much to start using this thing more often and in a more positive manner, but the only time I seem to use it anymore is when I'm pissed off or sad.

Maybe my life has gotten that boring.

Here I am, my last day of "summer break".  Next week I will start classes.  Six hours a day Monday through Friday.  My summer will be spent as though I am in high school all over again.  So today, I will be lazy.  I will be in a vegetative manner until work, and then once again after work.
Or
I could do something totally spontaneous
and fun!
Something that I will not get to do for the next ten weeks....
Something in boring small town Indiana
(Which means I'll have to get creative on a tight budget)
Submerse myself into beautiful, free, sunny, perfectly temperatured outdoors

Or
I could clean my house
and blare music
on the speakers
with the windows open
the natural sunlight filtering through bright light-bulb-less rooms
dishwash dancing


Wow.  That's a lot (of prepositional phrases) to take in.

Or
I could be a nerd
sit
on the porch
and catch up
on some reading

Some times the unplanned blase days turn out to be some of the best.

Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Trust No One, but Yourself

Sometimes, I have this problem with putting entirely too much trust in people.  For some reason, I automatically assume that their actions are going to mimic mine and that they won't hurt me.  But people... these people that I have had trust issues with, they are the reason why I don't really have trust in the human race.  They are the reason why I consider humans to be more of a parasite than a superior being.  People that have made me lose my trust are the reason why I consider myself agnostic.
It's really disappointing when this happens.
Really disappointing.
I guess I haven't lost faith in ALL people, but there are very few and far in between that I can trust and that is sad.
Someone once told me that three out of five sentences that people speak are lies.  I found that hard to believe.  Now I don't.  I really don't.
An ex boyfriend once told me to trust no one but myself.. and although I don't entirely agree with the statement, I agree with it enough to remember and to take it as partial advice.

Panic! At the Disco